Even MORE Random Things...

Tired of these yet?

I couldn't resist this first one. My sister might kill me, but here goes...

51. When we were younger, Andrea and I used to love watching The Dukes of Hazzard. Bo and Luke were soooo dreamy! We liked to pretend that we were The Jewkes of Hazzard. Seriously. She was Luke 'cause she had dark hair, and I was Bo since I was a blondie. My mom had a little red Ford Fiesta and it was our very own General Lee--we would climb in and out of the windows instead of using the doors. Later, I attended my freshman year at the same high school in Georgia where John Schneider (Bo) went. Yeah, I know. You're jealous.

52. As mentioned in #51, I had blond hair as a child. But I wanted pretty dark hair like my sister’s. So I put it in the toaster because, hey, it turns the toast brown. Yup, I singed a big chunk of it right off. Now my hair is naturally darker but I add blond highlights. The grass is always greener...

53. I have had the same set of hot rollers for my hair since I was 13.

54. When I did turn on the T.V. (#48) while I was by myself in my hotel room, one of the times was to watch the Disney Channel. I love those “innocent” shows. They remind me of the type of shows I watched as a child. Drake and Josh, Hannah Montana and The Suite Life of Zach and Cody are three of my faves. At home I end up "watching" them while I’m in the kitchen making dinner because my nephew has the T.V. on.


...Um, yeah. It took me almost a WHOLE month to come up with these. Genius, huh? Really I have just been avoiding my life. Or at least trying to figure it out. I think I spend too much time trying to figure out tomorrow that I'm not enjoying my "todays." I transferred to Atlanta and have been trying to decide about my commuting situation--as in, if I should buy a car to keep in Atlanta, where I should stay, or even if I should just move there altogether. It doesn't sound like a big decision, but it IS all the way across the country. I just wasn't sure I was ready to do that.

After all is said and done, I have decided to drive my car to Atlanta and stay there so I don't have to waste so much time commuting from Denver. This has been a difficult decision for me in so many ways that I won't go into right now. But I think it is sufficient to say that after a lot of mixed emotions, I started getting answers in my mind and things started to fall into place. For now, my Aunt Becky has very generously offered to let me stay in their guest house. I'm not "moving" there exactly, because I'm leaving all of my things in Colorado in storage, except for the essentials--like my sewing machine (I'm still on my sewing kick, lol) and a few of my favorite shoes and clothes (like I said, "the essentials!")

So that is what my March was filled with... a crazy roller coaster of thoughts and decisions. I also played "St. Patti" and brought the Leprechauns to my sister's house--I hid gold coins and candy for her kids to find. I ditched a guy who was wasting my time--after just a few months instead of years--a milestone, indeed! I read the book (and saw the movie) He's Just Not That Into You--probably why I realized "Flakey Guy" was wasting my time. I figured out that my never-ending cold/flu was really the result of allergies so I changed my allergy meds and it made a world of difference. I finally got around to watching Twilight, twice in fact, and LOVED IT! I enjoyed a fantastic lunch with a few of my favorite cousins at Cheesecake Factory and ordered two, yes TWO, desserts--completely guilt free. (Don't worry...I ate them over a period of 3-4 days, not all at once.) I re-connected with a few old friends who were very dear to me and in catching up with them, I remember why I liked them so much and still do. And finally, GASP, I poured my heart out to a guy friend of mine. I feel like I should keep the details of that on the DL, but I will say that it is someone I have loved for a very long time. It took me a while to get the courage up to tell him how I feel and it was really hard! I think it shocked him--kind of came out of nowhere in his mind even though it's been rattling around in mine for years. I probably ruined our friendship, but it was a risk I was willing to take because I could no longer deny my feelings. He has no idea what to do with it all for now but I am going to "manage" my expectations by not having any.

Oh yeah, and I came up with four whole "new" random things about me. Goodbye March. Hello April.

50 Random Things About Me

I was tagged several times on Facebook for "25 Random Things About Me." At first, I had a hard time coming up with 25 things. Then, after I finally wrote 25, I kept thinking of more stuff. So I added another 25 to the list. I decided to post my original 25 here as well, and I also added the 25 more I came up with... Probably about 49 more than you really want to know, lol! The last 25 are a bit shorter. Brevity is not my specialty...

1. I worked at Victoria's Secret for about 3 years total. Not only did I become a lotions and potions addict, but I now have a "hope chest" full of hope. I'm just hoping it will all still fit if I ever get the chance to use it.

2. I have had a million jobs, trying to find one I could actually do forever. Sitting at a desk all day makes me think, "If this is what I'm going to do for 75% of my waking day, every day for the rest of my life, I'd rather just die now." I have worked as a supervisor in a call center, a web editor for a scrapbook magazine, and a sales assistant for a title company, to name a few. My favorite jobs have been a waitress, an after-school teacher, and as a teacher for a summer foreign exchange group from Spain. And, of course I totally LOVE my job as a flight attendant.

3. I have always wanted to travel all around the world. Now that I can fly for free, however, the last thing I want to do on my days off is get on a plane and go somewhere to stay in a hotel. Seriously. I just love being home, sleeping in my own bed, and being with my family on my days off. My favorite places I have been are Moscow and Edinburgh, Scotland.

4. I failed my first driver's test because I ran a stop sign. But seriously, it was a three-way intersection and they had *just* added the stop sign a few months earlier. Now I'm an awesome driver and have only caused one accident--I backed into my brother's friend's car after walking right past it in my parent's driveway--I was apparently in a hurry.

5. I have been in a few car accidents caused by others: 1) When I first moved to California, a guy ran a stop sign and side swiped the back end of my new Jetta. It was in the shop for 6 weeks. 2) When I first moved to Colorado, my car was totaled by a drunk driver on my way to work at 8am. 3) It took me a while to buy a new car and 3 weeks after I had my new car, I was rear-ended while completely stopped at a stop-light...on the exact same street as accident #2, but three months later. 4) I slid on ice driving from Utah to Colorado and hit the same (yet-to-be-fixed) bumper that was damaged two months earlier in accident #3, so I didn't have to pay to fix it. (And within two weeks of #4, someone crunched my front bumper in the church parking lot and I found it after the meeting with no sign of who did it! What's up with a hit-n-run while I'm at church?!?) My name is Patti and I have been accident free for 15 months!

6. I was afraid of boys as a teenager. I always thought they thought I was dorky because when I asked a boy to dance at a jr. high dance, he said NO to my face. I only got asked to one guy's-choice dance in high school and I couldn't go because I had to wait until I was 16 to date. So, I didn't kiss a boy until I graduated from high school. And I finally dated my high school crush when I was 20, only to find out that he would've dated me all through high school had he known I liked him. (He said I was mean to him?!?! In HS, that means a girl likes you, duh.) Sigh. Well, at least I got to date him before he met his awesome wife, lol. But it would've been nice to go to a prom or homecoming. I figured I'd just go all out on my own "personal prom" when I get married, but taffeta is sooo out now.

7. I moved in with my sister and her husband 2 years ago. I was living in California and it didn't feel "right"--I was talking to my sister on the phone one day and she had just found out my nephew has Sensory Processing Disorder and she was really stressed because of all of his therapy and the one-on-one time he would need. She jokingly said I should move in with them to help her with her kids. Then we both felt like it would be a win-win so I packed up and moved there. I planned to get a place of my own after a few months, but I really liked living with them, being around my sister, being around my favorite kids in the world, and I loved cooking for them. My sister loved having a live-in babysitter for quick errands while her kids were napping (and because I have no life and spend every weekend hanging with her kids anyway), someone to cook for them (because she hates to), and is still willing to put up with my enormous amount of "stuff," so here I stay, for now.

8. I hate feet. I think they are gross. I have an obsession with keeping my feet nice. I pumice them everyday in the shower and slather on the lotion when I get out. If they feel dirty (from wearing sandals), I HAVE to wash them before I go to bed. I don't get pedicures because I do a better job on my feet than they do so I think it is a waste of time and money. I also hate wearing socks, especially panty hose. To church, it is boots or pumps with no hose in Winter. I go sockless whenever I can, however, I won't walk around barefoot because I hate my feet getting dirty and they are sensitive because I keep them so soft. So I always wear flip-flops (or slippers in Winter) around the house.

9. I always put lotion and baby powder on when I get out of the shower. I can't wash my hands without putting lotion on afterwards. I also can't stand dry lips so I always have lip gloss, usually Vaseline Lip Therapy, sometimes with lipstick. Needless to say, I have incredibly soft skin and lips... it's usually one of the first things a guy notices about me.

10. Along with my lotions and potions obsession, I love perfume and anything that smells fantastic. A guy with good-smelling cologne makes me weak in the knees. I sometimes spray perfume on before I go to bed because I like how it makes me smell. I love lavender and vanilla fabric softener and dryer sheets. I carry room-spray around when I travel (which comes in very handy with those airplane lavatories--ewwww!) and I love plug-ins and yummy candles.

11. I spent about 8 years in college and did NOT become a doctor. I just changed my major a million times. I finally settled on history and got so burned out, that I still haven't finished. (I learned that a history major is not only completely un-useful, but it isn't even fun in the end because instead of actually learning history, you just analyze the h@#& out of it.) I have about 6 classes left to get my bachelor's degree. I did get my AA degree from Snow College. I am proudly the only "Ute" in my family, although I have yet to graduate.

12. I actually really enjoy teaching gospel doctrine and relief society at church. Those are my favorite callings. I even enjoy speaking in church, although I haven't done so in many years. I won a lot of awards in high school and college for "forensics" (speech) and spoke at my high school graduation. (I still have a box of gavels in storage which were the trophies for student congress in high school.) Really, I am just a major rambler and I like a captive audience, lol.

13. I love dogs and would love to get one, but it's too hard with my profession. My dog, Mutsy, died last year and I was a mess about it. I want to get a little white Maltese and name her Mika or Chloe.

14. I am a hopeless romantic. I love chick-flicks, Jane Austen, and I cry when men say sweet things about their wives. I have a lot of respect for guys who are truly committed to a woman. One of the most romantic things that has ever been done for me was when a guy filled my room with red and white balloons and left a red rose on my pillow with a heart-shaped mylar tied to it. The other thing was when a (different) guy bought a shirt I was eyeing (but couldn't afford) while I was in the bathroom at the mall and then surprised me with later that night for no reason.

15. I hate exercise. I like being active. I think that if people in history could see how we go to gyms and all the other "forced" forms of exercise, they would think it was truly bizarre. I do, however, like to do dance videos and a little yoga before bed. I walk a lot at work, too--did you know that from one end of a concourse at the Atlanta Airport to the other end, it is just short of one mile...and I usually have to go from one concourse to another. I do have a goal, however, to train to run a 5k--just 'cause I know it would be good for me.

16. I love children's book and have a very large collection of picture books. I also wrote a children's story but am too scared to submit it to be published.

17. I only read about two books all the way through while I was in high school (The Catcher in the Rye and The Count of Monte Cristo). I usually relied on the Cliff Notes, movies, and extra credit. I have a hard time focusing and staying awake when reading. So I set a goal about 5 years ago to try and read more. The first book I read was Pride and Prejudice and I was hooked on Jane Austen. I also "read" a lot of books on CD while on road trips. I read a lot now... mostly just "chick lit" but I really enjoy it--reading the entire book and everything!

18. Speaking of road trips... I love them! I don't do many anymore because it is easier and cheaper for me to fly. I used to drive between So. Cal and Utah every few months by myself and I really liked it. It is actually annoying now to have someone with me because I like listening to books on CD, just quietly thinking, or turning my car into a moving Karaoke machine. A passenger actually cramps my style now. :)

19. I hate texting. It's OK for some things, but most of time I think it easier to call--especially while I'm driving. I have no problem driving and talking--whether with a passenger or on the phone. Some people can't drive and talk, eat, or do anything else. I know it's supposedly a big safety issue, but personally I think people should be more worried about drunk drivers. Did you know that for every DUI violation issued, a person has already driven an average of 50 times while intoxicated without getting caught? (Sorry for the rabbit trail, but don't get me started on drunk driving.)

20. I vote straight-ticket Republican and I make no apologies for it. I believe the country is run by parties, not people, and I stand behind the "less government" values of the Republican Party. I don't like the government having a hand in every little thing. I think people should be rewarded for hard work and self-reliance and that benefits should not be withheld because someone makes "too much." (Could you imagine being charged differently for a Mcburger based on how much you make?!?!) However, I feel that I am very tolerant of others' right to their beliefs and I enjoy hearing why people believe what they do, as long as they don't expect me to change my beliefs. Ultimately, I think we all want the same thing, we just believe in going about it differently. I also believe that despite how one votes, it is our responsibility to stand behind our leaders once elected.

21. I am such a night owl. I don't do mornings. Someone once said that "if God intended us to see the sunrise, he would've scheduled it later in the day." I think it is because I am a restless sleeper. I walk and talk in my sleep and sometimes still dream when my eyes are open. I also randomly remember dreams I had years ago, even when I didn't remember them when I woke up that day.

22. I LOVE my family and love spending time with them. Even my extended family. I sometimes need a little alone time while on a family vacation, but ultimately, I really enjoy being around them--especially when we play games together.

23. My eighth-great grandfather on my maternal grandfather's side was King John of England (son of Richard the Lionhearted.) So technically, I AM a princess. Really. Know any princes?

24. I love movies. I go to movies by myself all the time because it is easier than arranging it with a friend, having to compromise on the movie, and having to share my popcorn. I used to love movie theater popcorn, but one time I put waaaaay too much butter on it (they had a do-it-yourself butter pump--bad idea!) and I threw up later that night. So now I just get a little popcorn, easy on the butter.

25. I love Diet Dr. Pepper, but I'm trying to quit. It doesn't help that I carry a 12-pack around in the trunk of my car.

26. I’m still friends with most of my “exes.” I even have dreams about one of them all the time. Weird, huh?

27. My favorite dessert is the Lemoncello Torte from Cheesecake Factory. I have tried almost everything on their menu (I waitressed there) and it is the best!

28. I love my car. It is a total “mom” car but I feel safe in it and it has all the bells and whistles. It is a 2005 Chevy Malibu Maxx.

29. I like doing laundry except I never fold anything but my socks and towels. (Maybe that's why I don't mind it.)

30. I used to have to hang-dry all my jeans and stretch them while wet to make sure they were long enough. I have a 35-inch inseam! (Most “longs” are 34-inch.) I finally found a brand of jeans I like that are long enough and I was so excited that I could just throw them in the dryer and be done with them.

31. I hate routine. It bores me to do the same thing over and over. That’s why I like my job so much—it is always different.

32. I love to cook. I like trying to replicate something yummy I had at a restaurant by Google-ing several versions of a recipe and then figuring out my own version. I’m not very good at following the exact items of a recipe. I cook by taste.

33. And speaking of Google, I Google every one and every thing. …I have an inquiring mind and I like to research stuff.

34. I dated a guy with a criminal record. It was “in his past” and he was a great guy, but he ended up being a little flaky.

35. I was engaged once (not to the guy in #34) for 2 whole weeks. He’s the guy I still have random dreams about.

36. And speaking of the ex-fiancé, I sort of helped him build his house and I found that I really enjoy construction (except sanding and puttying.) If I were a guy, I probably would have done that for a living.

37. I always use a napkin when I eat, even if it is just cold cereal. And I always use an apron when I cook. I guess I’m messy.

38. I used to be deathly afraid of heights. I got “stuck” on a staircase at the top of a hike (Devil’s Head in Colorado). I had to sit down in the middle of the stairs and was laughing hysterically at how scared I was. I finally crawled the rest of the way up with the help of my nieces. But last time I rode in a glass elevator in a very tall building, I wasn't scared at all. I don’t know if it is because I fly so much now and am used to being high up, or if it is because I’m not afraid to die now.

39. I get queasy at the site of blood. I had a student with a bloody nose once and I almost passed out. The other students had to help him (and me.)

40. I would love to be a “stay-at-home mom” but will probably never be able to completely give up my job and my flight benefits. I would soooo be a little “Holly Homemaker!” (But for now I’ll work on getting a date, a boyfriend, a husband, and *then* I’ll worry about being a mom—first things first, right?)

41. One of my all-time favorite groups is Erasure. I still love to listen to them and have all of their albums. (A side note on 80’s music, I will admit to liking Milli Vanilli, too, even if it wasn’t really them singing.)

42. I also love “oldies”—especially the Beatles and Dean Martin.

43. I am a member of the Baseball Hall of Fame. My favorite team is the San Francisco Giants. I sat second row behind the plate, right next to their dugout once!

44. I hate watching the news. I think it is depressing. I look at headlines on the internet and read about things that interest me, but I really don’t want to know the details of most things.

45. I am a celebrity-gossip junkie, but I’m trying to quit. People always leave those magazines on planes and the flight attendants vie for them. I try to always give them away so I’m not tempted and don’t waste my time reading them.

46. I sprained both of my wrists (at the same time) while doing a senior project for my English class. I couldn’t play volleyball or the piano for almost a year.

47. I never had stitches (except for my wisdom teeth extraction) or a broken bone until I got in a car accident when I was 31.

48. I almost never watch T.V. In a year of staying in hotels, I think I have only turned the T.V. on in my room twice. It drives me crazy to have constant noise. My favorite show is The Office but I usually watch it online or on DVD.

49. Cotton is my favorite fabric. It is all I can sleep in. My sheets, blankets, and pajamas have to be 100% cotton. So do most of my clothes. I don’t like synthetic fabrics that don’t breathe because I feel like I’m wearing a plastic bag. And I like high thread count sheets. I’m kind of spoiled that way.

50. I didn’t get my first passport until I was 32. My first trip out of the country was a cruise to Bermuda with my family. Within a year, I had traveled to three continents.

Guilty Pleasures

No, I didn't forget about my blog. In fact, at least 20 times a day I think to myself, I'll have to write about that on my blog. So as you can imagine, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed now. But the truth is, February practically didn't even exist for me. I worked a ton and was in New York almost the entire month. It certainly didn't help that the internet in my apartment was out almost the entire time. And then my mom came to visit me and have a last hurrah in NYC before I cleaned out my apartment and moved everything back to Colorado.

You all know how fond I am of NYC, lol, but it actually started to grow on me a bit once I knew I was leaving. Maybe it just felt more bearable knowing there was an end in sight. I think if I didn't have to work three airports--using public transportation--and I didn't live in the ghetto, it might not have been so bad. Except for the eating part. I ran across some health inspection reports for local eateries in my area when I was trying to find an online menu for my favorite Chinese food place. Almost every restaurant in Queens is one violation away from being shut down due to one "rodent" violation or another. Ewwwww. So I couldn't eat anything except stuff I bought, non-perishables, from the grocery store and prepared myself. But enough of that. I start flying out of Atlanta next week. I'm still trying to figure out where to stay, etc. there because transportation is an issue. I may just break down and buy a second car to keep there. Then I can stay with family which will be cheaper than not having a car and paying for an apartment. I was toying with the idea of moving there instead of to SLC, but actually, neither feels quite right. So for now, I am staying put in Colorado and will continue to commute.

My latest obsession has been sewing. I decided to make myself a cute apron since I love to cook so much and always use an apron. When I don't, I end up with food all over me. So I picked out some cute fabric and decided to make my nieces matching aprons for Valentine's Day. But then it seemed unfair that the girls had aprons to match me, and not their mom. So I made my sister an apron, too. Now we all have matching ones. Cheesy, I know. And then I decided to make one for my cousin for her birthday. It turned out soooo cute! I was so proud of it and she loved it which made me feel even better. And to boot, when I delivered it to her, she emptied out her make-up cupboard and gave me all of the "gifts with purchase" she has received over the past few years. She rarely uses the bonuses, but she will only buy her products during the bonus days so she can get the freebies. And I'm talking, Estee Lauder, Clinique, Lancome--the good stuff. I am in heaven. She is hilarious, lol... Such a "Jewkes." We are all such bargain hunters and can't resist a freebie.

I also made myself some pajama pants because I can never find cute ones that are long enough for me. I found some pink and black Supergirl fabric that I loved... yes, I have a secret obsession with super heroes and have always wanted Supergirl pajamas ever since I grew out of my Wonder Women Underoos as a kid. (They were sooo cool.)

And while I'm telling secrets, I recently decided to admit that I actually wear fresh perfume to bed on occasion. What can I say? It's nice to drift off to sleep surrounded by lovely wafts of my favorite scents. I don't care if it seems wasteful. After all, I really wear perfume for myself anyway since no one else gets close enough to me to even know I'm wearing any. (Now this fact might be disputed by those who claim to smell my scents from "down the hallway" but in all fairness, that is just after I put it on. Then it wears off and is hardly noticeable to anyone but me.) And it is a widely-known fact that I have to wash my feet before I go to bed if I haven't worn socks, and sometimes even if I have. They have to feel and smell clean before they touch my sheets. My latest favorite scents are coconut and chocolate. And I like to layer scents--Spring and Summer are for fruity-florals and Fall and Winter bring sweeter, tastier, homemade scents like cinnamon and caramel. Yes, I am a lotions and potions whore. And you know what else, I usually eat dessert first. Yep, that's right. It's not like I need to be bribed to eat my dinner--I'm not four years old. I still eat my meat and veggies. And it's very liberating. Really. You should try it.

So there you have it. All my dirty little secrets. Well, not allll of them! But that's it for now. I have to stop writing or I'm sure I'll spill some more. Hahahaha. Besides, I can't remember any of the daily stuff I promised myself I wouldn't forget to write. Oh well. I'm back and hopefully I won't stay away too long this time.

P.S. I'm not gonna lie... I am too lazy to get any pictures up tonight. I'm just proud of myself for ending my slump and writing something. I'll try to add pictures soon of my projects and my weekend with my mom.

You Can Be My Huckleberry

Did I promise I would update this on Monday? Uhh, yeah, I meant this Monday. Anyway...

I had a layover in Phoenix last week and my dad flew in to join me. He rented a car and we drove 2 1/2 hours south to a little town called Tombstone. Yep, that's the one... of Wyatt Earp fame. It brought back thoughts of a very sexy Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday saying, "You can be my Huckleberry." (And boy would I ever like that!) On the drive, I got a pretty good history of the famous gunfight at the OK Corral. My dad is an old western movie junkie and has seen all the versions of the story. The town still exists as does the famous little Allen street, complete with historical markers telling where some of the famous gunfights (and cowboys) went down. There were dirt streets and wood-planked sidewalks, just like in the old movies. Unfortunately, we left a little late in the day and arrived at sunset. It was a little too dark for pictures and most of the shops were closed. But it was still a fun little daddy-daughter adventure.

In other news, my niece Brooklyn cut her chin open and had to get two stitches. While the doctor was finishing up, Brooklyn said to my sister, "Mom, I'm being really brave, just like Joseph Smith." She apparently had just learned the story about how he had to have a piece of his bone removed from his leg and did so without any alcohol or anesthetic. It reminds me of last year when I had "decorated" their house for St. Patrick's Day by overturning furniture and hiding gold coins everywhere. I left a note saying it was the leprechauns. As the kids were hunting for gold coins, Brooklyn said, "I know who really did this." "Darn," I thought, "I'm busted." But she replied with a simple, "Jesus did it." Too funny. Andrea didn't think it was too funny, though. She forgot I had told her I was playing leprechaun (and that it was St. Patti's Day) and thought someone had broken into their house. She almost called the cops. Ooops. She'll be better informed this year.

And, my big news... I finally got a transfer out of NYC. You all know how much I like that over-rated, rat-infested city, lol! But honestly, it has kind of started to grow on me, but not enough to stay when offered the opportunity to work out of Atlanta. Ahhhh, now there's a nice clean city--or at least the areas I can afford to actually live in are nice. I start there in March. My trips will likely be more tiresome, but it will be nice to be there and so worth it to me. I'll give more details about that later. For now, I'm off again. Atlanta, here I come!!!!!!!

Carry On

Raise your hand if you are tired of me talking about all of my lost stuff and my absent-mindedness... Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! But I am still smiling and laughing. :)

O.K. So on to something more exciting. Hmmm. An update on my life? ...Nothing new to report except that I was in Minnesota last week during that -20 degree cold spell. You know it's cold when you breath in and you feel ice forming on your nose hairs. (I didn't even know I had nose hair!) Also, I'm feeling pretty good about the fact that I made a "basket" from clear across my hotel room when I tossed a tissue in the garbage. It was really far. Seriously. And tissues are light. It didn't even hit the rim! Sigh. I guess you had to be there. (See how glamorous my life is, lol.) I have a week off starting Monday and then I will write something more exciting. I promise.

And no more complaining about my lost mind, although I'm more amused by it all than anything. I have accepted it and moved on. But make sure you listen to the first song on my playlist... "Good as gold, but stupid as mud. Carry on regardless."

And so I say, carry on.

I Found It

...Just like I thought was possible--in the bottom of one of my bags. I am retarded.

That's all I have to say about it.

You're Gonna Love This One...

My replacement credit cards came in the mail the day I left to go back to work. That was Tuesday. Today is Friday (because even though it is 3AM Saturday morning, I haven't gone to bed yet so, to me, Saturday doesn't start until I go to bed and wake up again.) I am still waiting for my pin numbers to come in the mail so I have an ATM card again, and so I can use my debit card instead of my credit card.

I decided to be smart this time and put my credit and debit cards into their own tiny little wallet so when I go to purchase something, I don't have to get out my entire wallet (which I now have back, yeah!!), and the tiny wallet fits into my pocket so I can't leave it any where... See how much trouble I have to go to in order to work around my absentmindedness and my retarded brain function?!? So I thought my new plan was brilliant. That is until tonight.

I was taking the subway home from the airport but my metro card was empty. So I pulled it out of wallet which, by the way, had the whole entire $12 cash removed by whomever turned it in (which was fine because I was just glad to have it back). Then I pulled out my tiny credit card wallet so I could use a bank card to put money on the metro card. (Are you following all this? ...Two cards, two wallets, and one absent-minded flight attendant.) To make sure I didn't leave my wallet, I put it back in my bag when I pulled out the metro card. After putting more money on my metro card, I stuck it in my pant pocket (so I didn't have to pull out my wallet and risk leaving it behind.) Then I stuck my tiny card wallet into my coat pocket so I didn't leave it behind. Now all of these careful steps were orchestrated with great care in my mind so as not to leave something behind. Then I got on the subway with my friend Emily who I had met on the trip I had just finished working.

We had a lovely conversation on the 20-30 minute subway ride home. (Can you see where this is going?) Thankfully, we decided to stop at an all-night cafe and grab a quick bite before heading back to our crashpads. We put our bags at a table and she went to order. I was still looking for my wallet. Had I really put it in my coat pocket? Maybe the secret pockets (that I learned about after I thought I lost my cell phone the night before until I had someone call it and it rang from said secret pocket. Apparently I had inadvertently placed it there.) Nope, not there. But I still had my blazer pockets, my vest pockets and my pant pockets (yes, far to many pockets for a girl who has trouble keeping track of things.) Buuuutttt... no where. So I searched my bag. Had I put it away? No, I was very careful to put it where I wouldn't accidentally leave it behind. Oh wait, didn't someone bump up against me in the subway while I was rambling on to my friend?!? ...And I begin to laugh, hysterically!!! I had been pick-pocketed on the NYC Subway! Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike New York? And did I mention that as I sat down on a subway seat, everyone moved down to make room for my friend to which I commented, "Thank you so much. I don't care what anybody says, New Yorkers are the nicest people!" Yes, I really said that just minutes before I was the victim of good ol' fashioned New York theft. Seriously. But I was glad that we stopped to eat or I might not have realized its absence until my bank account was drained.

I know, I know, I had it coming... wallet in pocket on subway, not paying attention because of great conversation, and seeming so nice and unassuming of New Yorkers. Yes, I brought this upon myself. Ironically, I am always so alert when I ride the subway so as not be taken advantage of. But I am usually alone and not distracted. However, it was after midnight and I have a rule not to take the subway at night by myself. Maybe I just try too hard and have too many rules and methods to try and stay safe and sane. But really, I DON'T EVEN HAVE MY PIN NUMBERS YET, PEOPLE!! Let me at least enjoy my cards for a week before having to cancel them yet again and order new ones. Maybe they will re-activate my old cards since I have them back now. However, maybe whoever stole the cash from my wallet wrote the numbers down. Scratch that. Arrrrgggghhh! It really sucks to be this stupid.

So as I'm looking for my tiny wallet and realizing it is not there, I tell Emily (as I am laughing) that I think my tiny wallet was stolen on the subway. She looks at me oddly (probably because I am laughing and she knew about my lost purse and wallet) and asks me if I am OK. I tell her I am fine. And really, I was and am. I mean, how many people can say they got pick-pocketed in New York? OK, probably a lot. But how many can say it happened after receiving new cards only days earlier because you had to cancel your previous ones? And furthermore, I thought of you, my dear friends and readers, and how you would relish this story. All I could say was, "Well, it will make a great blog story," which, sadly, is about the only thing I can say after such a mis-adventure (AGAIN!!) So thank you for helping me find the humor in this because, really, you gotta admit, it IS pretty dang funny.

I got home and immediately checked my bank account. No charges, whew! So I paid every bill for the month on my credit card so I could max it out and then transferred every bit of money from my checking and savings accounts into my mom's bank account so there is no way anyway can get to it. Why, you ask, did I just not call and cancel them? Besides the fact that my bank will probably not allow me to have any more cards, I'm honestly afraid that I will wake up tomorrow and somehow find them in the depths of my bags. Yup, that's happened to me before with some car keys--I bet you're incredibly surprised by this bit of information. But that was in high school at a dance (back when my mind was young and undamaged.) My date was on crutches and we walked back and forth across Trolley Square for two hours backtracking and looking for those darn keys. In the end, I found them in the bottom of my purse while I was in the ladies room with my friend Sarah re-checking it and also re-checking my purse while he wasn't watching. We decided to go to the lost and found and then tell him someone had turned them in. (Yes, I lied... Now you know all my dirty little secrets.) Would you have told the poor hobbling fella the truth?!? Yeah, didn't think so. We made it to the dance just in time for one dance and to take a picture before it ended. I held the keys slyly in my hand for the shot, but only because my group made me. And by the way, that is the only other major thing I had ever misplaced until P.A. (post-accident). And then I was losing everything, my passport pictures, my band new iPod charger, and a slew of other things. It really sucks to go from being sharp and witty to one product short of a proper make-up kit... Can you imagine doing all of your make-up except for blush or mascara?!? Or not having your eyelash curler? That's how I feel. Like I'm walking around with something missing. And I simply cannot wear eyeshadow and/or liner without mascara. It's just well, you know, not right!

But I digress (another big surprise.) I think I was talking about how I am waiting to cancel my cards until tomorrow, just in case. Because that would really save me another big headache in ordering new cards and waiting for them and then waiting even longer for the pin numbers that go with them. Emily, who had a brain injury several years ago, assured me TBI (traumatic brain injury) heals after about two years, so hopefully this will soon pass and I will enjoy normal brain function again. Until then, if anyone finds my mind, please let me know. I think I left it somewhere.

P.S. I'm not obsessed with credit cards, but it is the easiest thing to use while traveling and also to keep track of my work expenditures. And actually, I usually use my debit card.

P.P.S. I'm soooo over making up pretty pictures to add to my blog stories, because obviously if I have lost something, I don't have a picture of it. And besides, the pictures of me in New Orleans from my previous post are somehow all squished now so I look short and fat. Sigh. So no pictures today, OK? That means you'll just have to suck it up like a big girl and read the novel without any pictures. Just for me. Just for today.