Hello...?

Hello.... Is anyone still out there?

I pulled up my blog to find a quote I knew I had written somewhere on here and I had to read through several posts before finding it. I actually enjoyed reading my old posts--I was impressed that I was at times witty and clever. Not in the "I'm so clever" sort of way, but the, "Wow, I forgot I used to be like that" sort of way. The "Where did I come up with that and where did that person go" sort of way. I was surprised to realize that my writing was actually enjoyable for me to read. (How many people can entertain themselves so easily?) It also made me sad because I'm not sure that I'm that witty anymore. There is a lot to that, but right now it is 2am and I am in a hotel in Florida with a long day ahead of me tomorrow. So I'll stick to my point.

There is a point here, although I'll first digress a moment to mention that I must be a new woman to arrive at my point after only one real paragraph. ...I realize that in many ways I was in a much better place a few years ago. But I also realize that in many other ways, I'm in a much better place now, at least relatively speaking. The past few years have been more heartache that happiness, but somehow in learning to rise above it all, I seem to understand myself more now than ever. That's worth something, right?

My blog was no where to be found on my list of resolutions this year, but I just realized that it should be. Not for you (as in, anyone who might actually want to read about my life) but for me. I remember the freedom of expressing myself and how it gave me confidence. I remember how exploring and describing my thoughts and emotions helped me to sort through them, to clarify them, and to understand and make peace with them. I remember how explaining my ups and downs to others forced me to laugh at my life and find the humor in it rather than dwell in the heaviness of sorrow and frustration. Somehow, it unburdens me and makes me feel more... human.

I've carried around a quote for as long as I can remember. It's a poem of sorts called A Creed to Live By by Nancye Sims. I can't tell you where I got it because I don't remember. But I can tell you that I've read it many times over the years and tried to make it my own creed. I will post the entire thing at the end of this post, but I want to share the part that is most relevant to what I am trying to explain: "Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other." It perfectly explains why I need to start blogging again--because by admitting my imperfections, I feel more human, more alive. And lately, I haven't been feeling much of either of those.

I didn't name my blog "Live, Laugh, Love" because I'm good at these things. I named it that because it's how I want to be and how I want to live my life. In order to really live, I have to be able to laugh. And by being able to laugh, I somehow feel more love for others and myself... I no longer feel that life is so daunting.

My Blog has been in the back of my mind more often than not of late... calling me, beckoning me to find love and healing in the catharsis of the written word. I miss it like an old friend. But I'm not the same person I was even a few years ago (yes, it has been that long). I'm more guarded and less open. So although I will begin to write anew, I think it might be more cryptic and elusive than before. I am going to attempt to walk the fine line between sharing and oversharing; not because I don't want to share, but because if there's one thing I've learned over the past two years, it's the value of keeping some things a little closer to my heart.

A Creed To Live By
By Nancye Sims

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.

It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.

Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.

Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.

By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give.

Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.

It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks.

It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.

The quickest way to receive love is to give love.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;

and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your dreams.

To be without dreams is to be without hope;

to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been,

but also where you're going. Life is not a race,

but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Copyright © 1996 Nancye Sims