"About Four and a Half Months"

You know how you have those experiences that make you cry, but you know you'll laugh about them later? Well, I'm finally to the point where I can laugh about this... sort of.

My cute pregnant cousin just posted pictures of her little baby bump on her blog: http://erikandnichole.blogspot.com/. It reminded me of one of my most humiliating moments and I thought I would share it for your reading enjoyment.

It was about a year and a half ago... I was leaving Colorado for my initial Delta training. I had just returned from a cruise where I was well-fed (see picture which is about a week before this incident.) This was also about 9 months after my car accident and consequently, I wasn't in the greatest shape because of my recent injuries. So, I was sitting outside of security at Denver Int'l Airport going through my bag and gathering up all of my liquids for my quart-size bag. My bag was on the floor and I was in the oh-so-flattering position of leaning over it when a woman approached me.

Woman: Would you like a bottle of water? We didn't know we couldn't take them through security and we have a ton of unopened bottles that we are going to have to throw away.

Me: No thank you. I'm about to head through security myself.

Woman: Oh, but you should take it. You need it for the baby.

It took me a moment to realize what she was talking about. I was mortified. This lady actually thought I was pregnant?!? (I guess my shirt was fitted. And I was sitting and leaning over so my belly was all squished into a mound--of fat, NOT baby-- though, is that even better? And small-chestedness unfortunately does makes the stomach look bigger simply by comparison and lack of contrast.) However, I wanted to spare myself any conflict and further humiliation so I simply took the bottle and said thanks, thinking that would end this awful conversation.

But no...

Woman: So, how far along are you?

Me: (Thinking to myself.) Crap!! She is genuinely trying to be nice and I don't have the heart to humiliate her. I'm already humiliated and there's no going back on that, but she's still feeling happy and charitable, so why ruin her day, too? Oh crap, again! What do I say? Umm... how far along are my friends when they've started to show?

Me: (This time out loud.) Um, about four and a half months.

Me: (To myself again.) Crap, crap, and crap again! Pregnant women ALWAYS answer in weeks, not months (which I never really understood). Now she's going to catch me in my lie. Please, lady, just go away.

Woman: Ooooh! (Beaming like a proud mother) Congratulations!

And then, THANK HEAVENS, she walked away. I gulped down the water, holding back tears, and tried to quickly finish up digging out my liquids. As I did so, I inconspicuously switched a ring from my right hand to my left ring finger in case she looked at me again. (I mean, at least she would think I was pregnant and married.) Then I finished, gathered up my things, and went toward a garbage bin to throw away the water bottle before heading through the screening checkpoint.

But this story does not end here.

As I was walking back toward security to get in line, the lady approached me again. (I am NOT exaggerating this story one bit. If anything, she might have gone on and on about names, due dates, gender, etc. while I sat there dumbly and made up answers. But it was so surreal that I am only recounting what I actually remember her saying for sure.)

Woman: I just have to tell you, I am SOOO glad you are actually pregnant because I NEVER assume someone is pregnant. But I just had a feeling about you. I could tell. You simply glow! Well, congratulations again. I hope you have a good trip.

Me: Thanks. You too.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Are you serious?!? I definitely couldn't correct her now. What kind of a human being would I be to let her drag it out like that and THEN correct her? (How about the kind of human being who lies about being pregnant?) So I tried not to make eye contact with her in the security line. Thank goodness she was still pawning off water so I was able to get past security without another word. And that's when I lost it. I started bawling and called my mom. I told her the whole story. Then I called my sister and repeated the whole, horrible incident again.

Then and there I decided I was NEVER wearing that t-shirt again. EVER. Not even if I am really pregnant. And if someone ever asks me again if I am pregnant when I am not, I will correct them immediately. I swear. (Or maybe, once again, I would not have the heart to ruin someone else's day once mine has already been obliterated.)

But for sure, I was going to start doing sit ups; ...and maybe even start saving for a breast augmentation. (Contrast. Remember?)

Keepin' Busy

I've been keeping myself mostly busy lately. I've been lucky enough to have THREE weeks off, but I will basically be working non-stop from Thanksgiving to New Year's, if that is any consolation to anyone. My latest obsession is sewing. There is something about the mix of designing and creating that speaks to me. Joann's has replaced Target on the top of my favorite shopping haunts list. (Look at me being all domestic and stuff.)

My latest creation is a shaggy quilt... my first one. I have to say it is A LOT of work, probably because I didn't use a pattern or guidelines and ended up cutting my squares ridiculously small. However, I was extremely pleased by the outcome--although my 4-year-old nephew seemed pretty non-plussed by the mere "blanket" I gave him for his birthday. I did stop at the dollar store to add a few toys to his gift since he seems to think a present is a toy. (He said my mom's birthday gift--homemade football pj's--wasn't "a good present.") But my niece, Brooklyn, was in love with the blanket and says she wants her own quilt. So I went and bought fabric to make her one for her birthday, although I said I would never make another one because of how tedious they are. Maybe bigger squares will help. I'll have to let you all know...

Meanwhile, I mentioned a few posts ago that I am making "a list." This is otherwise known as a "five-year plan," which I should have done 5-10 years ago. The list is a work in progress, as am I, but so far, I have a few ideas formulating:

1. Take an online class or two each semester and get my Masters degree--in social work. Hopefully I can start a second career (alongside flying) as a counselor. I would like to specialize in PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, since I am very familiar with it and how it works from my experience with my car crash. I have already been accepted back at the U of Utah and will be registering for Spring 2010 classes shortly! Yeah!! :)

2. Get financially "fit." This is a more complex and private one, but I am working on a plan to save more and get out of debt (school loans) faster.

3. Get more spiritually "fit." This is also complex and is a list in and of itself. I am changing a lot of my media habits (switching to young adult books that are less explicit, cutting out questionable movies, etc.) I listen to mellow music, but I'm nixing the "love songs" category (although it is my favorite) because there is no use in pining over things that I may never have. It confuses me in my relationship with HF because I know he has other plans for me right now. This category also includes working on SELF-DISCIPLINE. This is the #1 rule on the list of happiness. I used to be soooo disciplined at an early age, but I think I "peaked" early and was overwhelmed and so the pendulum swung the other way. It's time to balance it back out. This category also includes spending more time praying, pondering, studying, AND writing in my journal.

4. Get physically fit. Not that I'm out of control, but a breakup puts me on my "self-indulgence" diet. Sadly, I am more motivated to be in shape when I am dating someone--out of respect for them. That is backwards, I know, and that is why I am going to work harder at eating better and being more active. No diets, no marathons, just a concerted effort to do better and make better choices. (I tried to be super skinny once, and I didn't like it. I love food too much. And I think I look all right now, mostly. Thank goodness I have 5 feet and 9 inches for the calories to spread out over or I would be in sorry shape.) A gradual 10-15 pounds off would be ideal and that's what I'm aiming for over the next 6 months, with lifelong maintenance.

5. Work on my writing. I wrote a children's book several years back and have yet to even try to get it published. My dad has encouraged me in this area. As many of you know, my dad is a writer, although it took him the greater part of his life to find that path. He thinks I am a great writer and "definitely smart enough" to write something. What I lack is the discipline to do it, hence my goal to be more self-disciplined. I actually took my flight attendant job thinking I would have a lot of time on my hands (layovers and days off) to pursue my writing. It has yet to happen, but just a few days ago, I started brainstorming on an idea for a book. Any suggestions?

6. Get involved in "a cause." Another reason I took my job as a flight attendant is because I thought the free flight benefits would be a good way for me to realize my ideas of doing service in third world countries. I would like to be involved in something that helps poor children and women better their lives, and eventually better their countries... maybe literacy or my teaching background (or Spanish) will help. Recently, I read an article about an adoption program for Russian orphans that a friend of our family heads up. So, over the next year, I want to avail myself to some options that will help me get involved in something bigger than myself. I have time and talent to give, but not much money. Again, any suggestions?

So that's me, keeping busy. Thanks in advance for any suggestions.

Paris and Istanbul Pictures

I've been having a little trouble with my laptop lately so it took me forever to get these pictures posted. Perhaps I have too many photos slowing down my system?

Anyway, I just spent three hours uploading them to Facebook and adding my commentary on each one. The format there is a little easier to work with when I have so many pictures to post, so here is the public link so you can check them out: Click here to see my Paris and Istanbul Pictures on Facebook

You don't have to have a Facebook account to view them. They are a little out of order but I am too tired to fix them at the moment. There is a funny story behind this picture, but you will have to click on the link to read it. Enjoy!