To Everything There Is A Season

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.

I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it. He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

Ecclesiastes 4:1-8, 10-11

This is one of my very favorite scriptures. Sometimes I find myself feeling inadequate or like I'm in the wrong place in my life... like I haven't accomplished anything. A friend once responded to my frustration by saying, "What is it you were meant to have accomplished?" The Lord never specifies how long our seasons will be. Just like the long winters in Canada and the long summers in the Caribbean, sometimes we find ourselves stuck in a season. But these locales adapt and flourish based on what can grow and survive in their climate. I'd like to see a palm tree survive a Utah winter or an apple tree survive a Florida summer. And perhaps it is indeed possible, but the point is that there is surely a way to survive and flourish no matter the seasons, if you just accept your "weather" and learn what grows best and how to flourish wherever you. The problem comes from wanting a different season.

I have maintained a mantra for awhile... "Don't feed the dragon." I have decided there is a dragon in everyone and everything. To feed it, causes it to grow. So starve it. Accept it. Let it be, and it will grow no more. One of the hardest things to learn in life is submission--submission to the way life is instead of what we think it ought to be. We have a tendency as human beings to "kick against the pricks" (as the apostle Paul said)... to fight against the inevitable to our own detriment.

I am learning the importance of acceptance in an effort to find true peace and happiness. Instead of worrying about the mistakes of the past or the promises of the future, live each day for what it is. Learn to dance in the rain or to smile into the sunshine without getting burned. As Charlotte Bronte offered, "Try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward."

And EVEN MORE Random Things About Me

As I've been looking over my blog, I've realized how much I've changed. (I know, I mentioned that already.) One of my major changes is that I now live in Atlanta. In fact, my entire family is spread all over the country--and world--now. My parents are missionaries in the Philippines, my older brother is taking care of their house in SLC, my younger brother moved to L.A. and my sister is happily still in Colorado. But it's not just my location that has changed.... that's just the beginning.
For starters, some of the Random Things I wrote before are now outdated. (See also Even More Random Things.) So for today, I'll start with the important stuff by amending the "Random List." Zach and Cody from The Suite Life grew up as did Hannah Montana. (Addendum to #54) It's all about iCarly now. In fact, I spent last weekend having a "sleepover" in my hotel with my favorite kids in the whole wide world (that would be my two nieces and my nephew) and we had an iCarly marathon. Aunt Patti is a little out of practice since she failed to notice beforehand that all the movies she brought to watch were PG-13, so we watched TV instead. My, how I laughed. That show is really funny! Seriously.

But I still never watch TV in my hotel room when I'm by myself. (See #48) I think that's about the fourth time ever since I started flying four years ago. I don't even watch TV at home. My TV is so old school that not only is it huge (with the big ol' part that juts out the back) but it actually has a built-in VCR. Seriously.

(Addendum to #7) I moved to Atlanta last year and decided I am not moving again unless I am in a box. They would only let me sign an 18-month lease, though. I'll be resigning it in about nine months which will probably be about the time I finally finish painting and unpacking. (Cut me some slack, here. It's just me doing all of the painting, unpacking and decorating and I'm gone about 4-5 days out of 7.) But how I loooove having my very own apartment with all of my things, most of which had been in storage for over seven years. (It's better than Christmas opening all of these boxes that haven't seen the light of day for years. I ended up with 4 hairdryers and 3 irons!) That would explain the old TV, right? The funniest part about all that is when I pulled the bunny ears out to set up on top of the TV. I was informed by my friend that everything is digital now so bunny ears are extinct. I suggested donating them to Goodwill but he reminded me that EVERYTHING is digital, so pretty much I could just ship them off to a third world country. Seriously.

I'll dedicate a whole blog someday to my moving experiences, but I have to say how much I still love road trips. (Addendum to #18) So much so that I drove from Denver to Atlanta all by myself and loved it. 24 hours of driving!! I got a book on CD (The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown) and drove straight through to Memphis (about 18 hours). I would have driven all the way to Atlanta but I was talked into stopping at a hotel for some sleep (and my own personal safety) by a good friend who even went so far as to look up a hotel with a good price in a safe area. With a book on CD, I still think a passenger is almost an annoyance. Seriously (... even I get annoyed sometimes by people who talk too much.)

(Addendum to #19) I'm totally cool with texting now. (Because before I said I hated it. I'm just a little slow to come around to all this newfangled technology.)

(Addendum to #23) I went to England and visited the Tower of London where I learned all about the Kings and Queens of England. I realized that King John couldn't be my eighth great-grandfather based on eight generations only being 250-ish years and he reined around 1200. I know my Grandpa mentioned something about some king, but apparently I need to dig around my family tree a little better. I know I'm related to one of them, but who and how is going to take some research. I'll get back to you on this one.
(New One!!) 55. Speaking of London... hands down, my most "favoritest" city EVER! I love reading historical fiction and most of it is about Regency England or the Scottish Highlands, but usually London is always in there somewhere. Such an amazing and historic city!!

(Addendum to #26) Haven't had a dream about "that one" ex in almost two years. I guess I'm finally over him. Either that or I just don't remember as many of my dreams as I used to.

(Addendum to #43) I let my membership in the Baseball Hall of Fame expire. I was sad to let it go, but I never have time anymore to keep up with sports. Either that or I'm in the wrong part of the country to view the games I want to see. (Refer to previous addendums regarding my TV-watching habits.)

(Addendum to #50) I have been to two more continents: the Middle East and Africa (in addition to the three I mentioned before which were Europe, Asia and South America.) I went to Israel last Summer and I've been to Ghana, Africa several times in the past two years.

(Addendum to #52) I might not be blonde-ish much longer. I'm seriously toying with the idea of going dark. What do you think? (Compliments of In Style magazine's Hollywood Makeover Tool which is super fun to play with, by the way.)

Now that I've amended my original list, maybe I'll come up with some new ones. Another time. It's late! (Yep, still a night owl, #21.)

P.S. Welcome back! :)

Hello...?

Hello.... Is anyone still out there?

I pulled up my blog to find a quote I knew I had written somewhere on here and I had to read through several posts before finding it. I actually enjoyed reading my old posts--I was impressed that I was at times witty and clever. Not in the "I'm so clever" sort of way, but the, "Wow, I forgot I used to be like that" sort of way. The "Where did I come up with that and where did that person go" sort of way. I was surprised to realize that my writing was actually enjoyable for me to read. (How many people can entertain themselves so easily?) It also made me sad because I'm not sure that I'm that witty anymore. There is a lot to that, but right now it is 2am and I am in a hotel in Florida with a long day ahead of me tomorrow. So I'll stick to my point.

There is a point here, although I'll first digress a moment to mention that I must be a new woman to arrive at my point after only one real paragraph. ...I realize that in many ways I was in a much better place a few years ago. But I also realize that in many other ways, I'm in a much better place now, at least relatively speaking. The past few years have been more heartache that happiness, but somehow in learning to rise above it all, I seem to understand myself more now than ever. That's worth something, right?

My blog was no where to be found on my list of resolutions this year, but I just realized that it should be. Not for you (as in, anyone who might actually want to read about my life) but for me. I remember the freedom of expressing myself and how it gave me confidence. I remember how exploring and describing my thoughts and emotions helped me to sort through them, to clarify them, and to understand and make peace with them. I remember how explaining my ups and downs to others forced me to laugh at my life and find the humor in it rather than dwell in the heaviness of sorrow and frustration. Somehow, it unburdens me and makes me feel more... human.

I've carried around a quote for as long as I can remember. It's a poem of sorts called A Creed to Live By by Nancye Sims. I can't tell you where I got it because I don't remember. But I can tell you that I've read it many times over the years and tried to make it my own creed. I will post the entire thing at the end of this post, but I want to share the part that is most relevant to what I am trying to explain: "Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other." It perfectly explains why I need to start blogging again--because by admitting my imperfections, I feel more human, more alive. And lately, I haven't been feeling much of either of those.

I didn't name my blog "Live, Laugh, Love" because I'm good at these things. I named it that because it's how I want to be and how I want to live my life. In order to really live, I have to be able to laugh. And by being able to laugh, I somehow feel more love for others and myself... I no longer feel that life is so daunting.

My Blog has been in the back of my mind more often than not of late... calling me, beckoning me to find love and healing in the catharsis of the written word. I miss it like an old friend. But I'm not the same person I was even a few years ago (yes, it has been that long). I'm more guarded and less open. So although I will begin to write anew, I think it might be more cryptic and elusive than before. I am going to attempt to walk the fine line between sharing and oversharing; not because I don't want to share, but because if there's one thing I've learned over the past two years, it's the value of keeping some things a little closer to my heart.

A Creed To Live By
By Nancye Sims

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.

It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.

Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.

Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.

By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give.

Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.

It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks.

It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.

The quickest way to receive love is to give love.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;

and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your dreams.

To be without dreams is to be without hope;

to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been,

but also where you're going. Life is not a race,

but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Copyright © 1996 Nancye Sims