I've Lost My Mind!

It's a little ironic to me that I have the most to blog about when I don't have time to blog. Probably because I'm so busy with my adventures--and misadventures, ahem--to sit down and write about it. It seems I always have a blog running through my crowded little head. And so I sit to write, wondering where I should start...

How about with my recent propensity for forgetting and losing things. I can honestly say that "of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." I'll follow that with the disclaimer that I'm not accustomed to losing things. In fact, rarely, if ever, have I been one to lose or misplace something. Even when my room is packed full of things with piles everywhere, I have been able to find anything I needed within a few moments. I can remember three whole times when I lost something major or left it somewhere (and I'll save those stories for another day.) So what went wrong? I'm going to blame it on Mr. Drunk-as-a-Fish because my mind went downhill after our encounter.

The first evidence I had of losing my mind was when I couldn't conduct a fluent conversation while in the hospital. I figured it was just the narcotics and a little bit of trauma, shock, whatever... but while I quickly learned how to speak fluently again, I found that I would often have that "on the tip of my tongue" sensation. Not like once every week or so as happens to everyone, but like, 15-20 a day! I couldn't remember words, names of people, etc. I could remember my friends' names, but perhaps not their husbands' or kids' names. It was very frustrating because I have always had a great memory (just ask any of my exes, hahaha!) Then one day I woke up and I couldn't exactly remember my name. I kid you not. It only took a moment of concentration to remember that my name is Patricia; But I seriously sat in bed for at least a few minutes trying to put my finger on what people call me. "It isn't Patricia... hmmm, oh yeah--Patti! But do I spell it with an 'i' or a 'y'?" That's when I started freaking out and consulted my doctor who suggested that I had likely received an inner concussion during the crash. Although I had not hit my head on anything, just the 95mph impact caused my brain to rattle around in my head causing some level of bruising (like shaken baby syndrome). The result is that as the bruised tissue starts to heal, it creates scar tissue which is thicker and more difficult for the neurons to get through. It supposedly can take around one to two years to heal, and may never heal completely. It's like those nasty bruises that leave a lump as they heal which eventually shrinks and goes away after time. Wow! (And I'm sure that the narcotics only added to my brain health...and the lack of oxygen at 35,000 feet where I spend a lot of time these days.) Well knowing is half the battle so I have learned to not get so frustrated and just work around my slowed-down mental capacity. It may actually be a bit of a blessing because sometimes I actually have to think before I talk, lol. :)

And then there is the other "half of the battle." I'm not gonna lie... I have turned into a complete ditz! Although it can be maddening at times, I just laugh at it because I know that I really am sharp, or at least that I was. So my little "moments" just provide fodder for my amusement (and business for Google as I look up everything that I can't quite place.) That is why my blog name is "laugh with patti." (And of course, the "live" and "love" parts are due to my increased to desire to live each moment to the fullest and to cherish relationships--the most important part of life.) So now for the evidence of my mental deterioration... this is where the laughs come in--although sometimes not for a few days and a few tears later when I am finally able to put it all in perspective.

I left my purse in an airport. I realized once we hit about 10,000 feet and the kind flight attendants on the Southwest flight in which I was a passenger, had the captain radio back to SLC so the gate agents could get my purse before someone else did. I landed in Denver 90 minutes later with a message that they had my purse and could send it to me. But where? I wouldn't be in any one place for the next week. I was in SLC going to Denver for a day and then leaving for NYC to go to work, meaning I would be flying somewhere else from there. Besides, all my money and credit cards where in it that I needed--oh, and my car keys so I could get home from the airport. So I had to think quickly and within 30 minutes of landing, I was back on another flight, this time to SLC to pick up my purse. I tried to think it all though... I would have to run from the Delta terminal across the airport to the Southwest terminal in about 15 minutes so I could catch the last flight of the night back to Denver--that is, if I could get on that flight as a standby passenger. But, when I ran to the SW terminal, they had just taken my purse to baggage claim. So I ran from the end of the terminal, all the way downstairs and one of the SW employees kindly met me at security and brought my purse through so I didn't have to go through security again. What a pain, and how embarrassing. Everyone was so nice though, so I bought the ground staff a box of See's chocolates in gratitude as I was running back through the airport to catch the flight. I barely made the flight only to find the pilot was the same one I had been talking to before I left the first time (the time when I had left my purse.) He was surprised that it had taken me "so long to get on a flight" until I explained I had already been to Denver and back. He laughed and laughed and told the entire crew. They were also very nice to me. Happy ending! (The above pic is me in New Orleans last week with said purse.)

That was December 30th. Then, on January 8th, last Thursday, I went to tip the shuttle driver in NYC and couldn't find my wallet. I figured it was in the bottom of one of my bags, so I gave him the cash in my pocket. Then, to my horror, I searched all my bags inside my apartment and there was no sign anywhere of my wallet. Arggghhh! I had left it in the Atlanta airport when I stopped for dinner at the food court. I spent the evening and all of the next morning trying to track it down with no luck. I cancelled all of my credit cards and tried to figure out what to do about my driver's license. I still had my CA driver's license and unless I went back to Cali to get a replacement, I would need to take a written and a driving test and then wait 48+ hours for a background check. Or, I could wait to have my Cali driving record mailed to me and then take it in to Colorado for a CO dl. But I'm moving to Utah in the next few months, so wouldn't it make more sense to get one there? And how would I even pay for a new or replacement license because I now have no access to my cash--no ID, no cards. Hmmmm... so I stressed about all that until I decided to fly to California (scrounging up a dollar in change for the shuttle driver so I could get to the airport), stay with my friend Jen and borrow money from her for the replacement license until my new credit/debit cards came in the mail or I could use my new driver's license to get money from a teller. She was pretty dang excited for me to come for a "visit" despite the circumstances. I didn't sleep too well that night at her house due to visions of sugarplums (that were purchased with my credit card) dancing in someone else's head. It didn't help that I was awakened at 5:30 in the morning by a phone call. But this was a good phone call... it was the Atlanta airport calling to say they had found my wallet. I was beyond ecstatic! Except for I still have to wait for my new cards to come in the mail since the old ones are cancelled. And I now have to fly to Atlanta to pick up my wallet. (When I pick up my wallet at the lost and found, I think I might check and see if my mind is there, too.) And not to mention, that I have been driving without my license because what else am I supposed to do--hire a taxi...with still no access to my money?!?! But alas, another happy ending and I am grateful my wallet--and all my personal information--is safe and sound. Geesh! What do people do who can't fly for free when they leave important stuff all over the country? My friend Rick asked me how I survive. Truthfully, I'm not really sure, lol!

And these are just two examples. I didn't even go into the time I left my airline ID at my parents while on a layover in SLC. My mom had to race 80mph to the airport so I wouldn't get written up. Or the time I mistook ironing water I had put in an empty body splash bottle for actual body splash and sprayed it all over me to freshen up while on a date--and it was a little sour. I smelled awful! And then there's all the little things. Soooo not like me. Now I know all of you mommies out there are thinking you've lost your mind, too. But reminder, I haven't had children yet. Perhaps it comes with age, but not so dramatically overnight. I am seriously just losing my mind! But I still think life is grand and find lots to entertain me, even if it is myself.

In other news... As the pictures suggest, I went to New Orleans for the first time! It was, well, interesting. Bourbon Street was like sensory overload--and I went just before Mardi Gras started. I can't imagine going during Mardi Gras. It's definitely not a place to take kids. We went to a piano bar which was so much fun! I was, of course, the designated "walker" to make sure my crew got back to the hotel safely. And FYI, the beads I am wearing are NOT from me flashing anyone, as is the custom (as IF anyone would offer me beads for my set, lol.) I got them from a hobo who said I just needed to shout, "I love the Lord!" Okay... easy enough. The French Quarter, however, was rather impressive and I hope to go back when I have more time to take some pictures. (Remember my door obsession? And I found out the street where the Jolie-Pitt place is. Yes, I am a stalker.) For now, I have included a few pictures for your viewing pleasure. Until next time... ta ta.