Deep Thoughts by Patti

{#1} I am in Denver for a few days before I start my two-weeks of work over Christmas. My parents are also here. Driving around with them reminded me of an incident that happened while I was in Colorado a few years ago... before I lived here. So I asked my parents, "Did I ever tell you about the time I got pulled over for throwing a cigarette out my window?" Their response was probably the same as yours, "YOU WERE SMOKING?!?!" Hello?!? Of course not! That's why it was so ironic. A cop pulled us over and said he had just seen us throw a cigarette out our window and that littering is a $1000 fine. My friend and I just looked at each other in bewilderment and then told the cop that was impossible because we hadn't even opened our windows and certainly hadn't thrown anything out--especially a cigarette. I pointed out that our car obviously didn't smell like smoke and that he wouldn't find one bit of evidence (matches, cigarettes, a pack, etc.) in our car because we don't smoke--at all. I suggested that it came from another car and somehow had bounced off our car when they threw it out. He STILL looked like he didn't believe us so I blurted out, "Sir, I promise: We don't smoke. We're Mormons!" What could he say to that? So he let us go while the real culprit was now long gone. Do real smokers ever get cited for littering? Argghhh! The moral of this story--don't get caught smoking, even if you aren't smoking. And if you do, just tell them you are Mormon.
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{#2} As my brother-in-law put my nephew in the car this morning he told him we were going to the church for the ward Christmas breakfast. My 3-year-old nephew said, "But Dad, where's your tie?" Hahahaha! He is getting so smart. When we played Memory tonight there was a parrot card (except it was labeled as a macaw.) I asked him what it was called, fully prepared to teach him that it is a parrot because who really calls them macaws? But he said "a macaw" as if it were the dumbest question I had ever asked him. I guess he schooled me, eh?! Go, Diego Go! (That's the cartoon he watches where he learns about animals and so we bought the Diego memory game with all animals.) Then, the other day I was getting him out of the car and as I held him in the sunlight, he thoughtfully looked at my eyes and said, "Your eyes are purple." "No," I said, "my eyes are brown." He then insisted, "No, your eyes are purple!" I remembered that I had put on purple eyeliner that day. I laughed and told him he was right-- that around my eyes is purple. Most males I know (with all due respect) don't even notice when I chop 6 inches off of my hair, let alone when I change shades of make-up...I told you he is smart. :) The moral of these stories--don't underestimate what you can learn from a 3 year old. And never call a macaw a parrot or you will sound stupid.
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{#3} I had a great time with my friend Jen when she came out last week. It was "short, but sweet." We wandered around Temple Square for a bit. I was so exhausted from working that I let her hang out and sleep in my hotel room with her sisters (I was laying over in SLC) and I went to bed early at my parents' house. She loved a night away from her busy life as a mom. Now I have a current picture to share of my beautiful friend. She has four kids and is still like a size 0. She looks great and just rocks! She's like the Energizer Bunny and I'm not even kidding. The moral of this story--a true friend will understand when you are too tired to play, even if she flew from out of state to see you. (Thanks, Jen!)
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{#4} I stopped in Atlanta to visit family after I finished my rotation last week. I saw my cousins' new baby and their energetic five-year-old twins. This is a picture of them from last Summer. It is sooo them! As I was flying home from Atlanta (as a passenger) I was sitting in a window seat. It was nighttime and it was pretty dark except for the guy in front of me had his light on--but he was sleeping. So the couple in the middle and aisle seat next to Sleeping Man decided they could make out... like serious, grabbing-each-others'-faces, making out. Hello!! At least they were married, and possibly were returning from a honeymoon, but still. They were practically in the spotlight for all to see because of the other guy's reading light. I kept thinking, "Get a room," but then I realized the only private "room" on the plane is the bathroom... and that image was just scary. I don't know why people "join" the mile high club in a lavatory--they are soooo gross, like outhouses almost. Not very romantic or sanitary, but to each his own (unless I have to listen to it which, thank goodness, I haven't or I SO would be pounding down the door! It reminds me of my years at Victoria's Secret--but that's a story for another day.) So I tried not to watch their hour-long make out session. But I'm not gonna lie, I think more than being annoyed, I was just plain jealous, lol. :) Sigh. The moral of this story--don't make out on airplanes because everyone can see you.
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{#5} I've decided to throw myself into my work for a while and not worry about dating. Not that I'm ruling it out, but it's so hard to keep a relationship going when I'm always travelling. I am constantly juggling my schedule and it is exhausting. I now understand why so many FA's are called "cat ladies" because they are 60 years old and never took time to date, so all they have for "family" are cats and so they just work all the time. I'm not on the cat lady fast track just yet (because I really don't like cats), but I've realized I'm like Julia Roberts' character in the Runaway Bride: I have no idea what kind of eggs I like. In case you haven't seen it or don't remember, she always changes her preferences based on who she is dating and what they like. I'm afraid I'm kind of like that. So I'm going to try and figure out what kind of "eggs" I really like. I was in one relationship or another for almost 14 years straight and the past year of not really being in one has actually been really hard for me. I have felt a little lost without cues as to what I should like. But I've been too busy whining about how lonely it can feel, instead of seeing it as an opportunity. So I'm going to savor my singlehood long enough to figure out who I am without the influence of a boyfriend, friend or my parents. Obviously there is something I need to learn in all of this. Sometimes I wonder if I "signed up" for this "class" in heaven before I came to Earth. Do you ever wonder what you agreed to do and go through in this life before you actually got here? ...Just something I've been thinking about lately. The moral of this story--don't whine about things you have to do or go through because they might just be opportunities in disguise. Make sure you know what kind of eggs you like. And don't ever become a cat lady.
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I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season. Take time for the people you love. Take time for yourself. And know that I will be thinking of you all and hoping you are enjoying the season as much as I am. Love to all! ~p

P.S. I don't really like eggs at all. But when I do feel like eating them, it's scrambled with cheese. This I know for sure. But please, PLEASE, intervene if I ever get a cat.